Still Got Tonight
by r2roswell
Summary: A Ricky & Amy story that takes place between episodes 3x26 and 4x01.
1. Prelude

**Disclaimer: I do not own the 'Prelude' chapter. All rights belong to Brenda Hampton and her crew who work on 'The Secret Life of the American Teenager'.**

**Prelude:**

_Ricky and Amy walked the hallway where everyone was waiting for news on Ben and Adrian's baby. She looked to Ricky._

"_Guess we're a little late to the party, not that we needed to be here at all," she said to him._

"_Hey," said Ricky, "Don't get upset with me, they were here when John was born."_

_As the couple got closer, they saw their friends walking away with saddened looks on their faces. Amy started to get worried. _

_Walking ahead of Ricky she saw Mr. Boykewich standing there with his face reddened and tears in his eyes. "Mr. Boykewich," she said trying to keep her own composure in her voice. "Um, everything's okay right, with the baby?"_

_All Leo could do was shake his head. Amy turned to Ricky and held onto him for dear life._

"_What's going on," Ricky asked._

_No direct answer was given. Instead Ben just told Amy that Adrian wanted her in there. At first she declined, knowing she wouldn't be able to handle it. She looked to Ricky and then knew that it was something she had to do. Adrian needed a friend right now and if this was all Amy could do, then she would, leaving Ricky standing there with reddened eyes and tears forming._

"_The baby was okay yesterday," Leo said to Ricky. "She was okay but today she's gone and Ben and Adrian, Ben and Adrian are never gonna be the same."_


	2. The Morning After

Author's Note: Chapter contains some adult material.

**The Morning After:**

_They say that in the midst of tragedy there comes a sense of joy one feels. Though there can never be joy in sadness, there are unexpected outcomes. Outcomes that could have resulted despite the path that was taken but it's a tragedy that when death helps to lead to that outcome._

"Amy," Ricky said, trying to shake his girlfriend awake. "Amy, wake up." Ricky could see tears in her eyes. "Amy." She finally stirred awake and tried to stop her tears. Ricky held onto her tighter. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

"No," Amy said amidst her tears, "No it's not okay."

'No,' Ricky thought to himself, 'It certainly wasn't.'

Amy wiped her eyes with her free hand and did her best to compose herself, "I'm sorry."

Ricky shook his head. He knew that Amy wasn't crying over what had happened between them last night. Last night, though he didn't like to apply the word to sex, how else could he have described his experience with Amy, it was beautiful. For once it wasn't just sex, it was making love to a woman whom he could not live his life without.

He relived the words in his mind. "I want you," Amy said to him.

"Now," he asked unsure as to whether or not it was the best time.

"Now and forever," she whispered.

Ricky came out of his memories and smiled at the woman in his arms. "What happened last night isn't what has you upset is it? I've never had a woman cry afterwards," knowing full well it wasn't but unsure as to how to bring up the other topic.

Amy playfully slapped him. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Last night was amazing, Amy. I'm glad we waited."

Amy looked up at him, her eyes becoming clearer. "Are you?"

"Well I'm not a patient guy but that was definitely worth waiting for but tell me, what's really bothering you."

"You really want to know?" Amy said looking down.

"I do," Ricky said sincerely.

"It's nothing."

"You were crying in your sleep, it's not nothing. Did you have a bad dream or something?"

Amy took a deep breath. "I was thinking about John. How can something go so right and yet so wrong? I can't imagine what I would have done had I lost John during the pregnancy."

"Hey don't think like that, Johns' safe."

"I can't not think about it. It could have easily been me or us. That's what my dream was, my bad dream. I was back in that hospital room two years ago and the doctor's told me he died. How do you recover from something like that?"

"I don't know if you can. Something like that stays with you forever." Ricky took Amy's face in his hands. "But we don't have to worry about that. John turned out okay, he's alive. We have a healthy, jubilant, two year old son."

"I am sorry Ricky," Amy said more solemnly.

"For what?"

"For not letting you be in the room when he was born."

Ricky said nothing. They had both been young. Two years felt like a lifetime ago. No he didn't get to see his son being born and after the books he had read he wasn't sure he had wanted to but given the state of their tough friendship back then, at the time it made sense that he wasn't in the room but at least he was there, at the hospital the day John was born and he would always be grateful to Amy for letting him be there in that sense.

"It's okay. We have the rest of our lives as a family. I have the rest of my life with you and with our son. We're alive Amy, and I think after last night we shouldn't let the hard stuff stop us from living."

"Well we kind of proved that last night," Amy said with a small blush.

Ricky smiled. "Yeah, we kind of did."

Ricky continued to stare at Amy. Ricky sometimes wondered how he could have been so lucky. He remembered two years ago thinking that he didn't deserve having his son much less having him with a girl as nice as Amy. She was the girl most people wanted to be friends with. Her caring personality was an attraction rather than a turn off. She helped people even if they walked all over her and in time had come to learn to stand on her own. Even in the rocky years of John's life he still didn't feel worthy to belong in her life and yet here he was, the girl of his existence in his arms, unclothed beneath the sheets. She belonged to him and he would do everything he could not to tarnish that.

Amy stared back at Ricky thinking of where life had brought them. Band camp felt like eons ago. Those first couple of years had been rough, first with her pregnancy and not wanting to be pregnant at fifteen and then having to raise John. There were times she hated it but it didn't take too much time for her to love her son, for her to feel that unconditional love that all mothers felt. Though she wished she were a bit older and more mature when having a baby she would not have traded her son for anything. She loved John and the thought that she could have easily gone through what Ben and Adrian were going through now terrified her. She felt a little guilty for being selfish and being grateful that John was alive but like Ricky had said, they were alive and they shouldn't let the hard stuff stop them from living.

And Ricky, Amy thought. Despite his past she knew she didn't deserve a guy like him. This wasn't a fairytale, there was no perfect prince charming and yet there was only the prince charming wasn't the perfect guy the stories that they made them out to be. Instead the perfect prince charming was just a guy with as hard a life as anyone else, if not harder, on the wrong path, and in need of someone by his side. Redemption was up to him. Ricky didn't need redemption. Amy knew Ricky hated being called a victim and so after a while she stopped seeing him that way and she knew it wasn't up to her to save him. Only he could do that. And he had. Ricky became the kind of guy she always knew him capable of becoming. She loved him with every fiber in her being if that were at all possible.

Ricky smiled at Amy. "I love you."

"I love you too."

'Thank god for a teacher work day,' Ricky thought as he traced his hand down Amy's forehead and then down her left arm, letting it linger over her breast. He could feel it harden and he smiled at her. She smiled back at him as she leaned closer and started to trace her lips along his face, leaving a trail of kisses.

Ricky worked his way down, tracing her form with his mouth and tongue. Amy could feel the ecstasy course through her as Ricky traveled every inch of her body. She in turn ran her fingers through his hair and over his shoulders. When Ricky returned she began tracing her lips and tongue along his chest, letting her fingers move like pieces of grass blowing in the wind, touching, caressing but ever so slightly but so the sensations were making his hair rise. Amy leaned above him, smiled down at him as he smiled back and the two continued kissing blissfully.

A short time later, Ricky gently moved so that he was on top of Amy. He opened his eyes and studied every inch of her body though he had all ready memorized it the first time they had sex at band camp. Though this was their second time making love, with Amy it felt right, it felt real. Most of the time he always felt like he was in a trance, his body participating but him watching from some far off distance. For once his mind held an interest. He didn't feel a sense of detachment from his body the way he had in the past. He could feel every sensation. The way she moved beneath him, the way his groin felt when it raised and got rock hard. He could feel her body start to relax. Amy opened her eyes to see Ricky staring at her. She smiled at him and leaned up to his face, bringing it down with her hands, letting their tongues fill each other and then feeling herself open up to him as he glided his groin into her.

_Life has a beginning. Life has an ending. Sometimes, and people don't really understand why, they happen all at once. What happened to Ben and Adrian's baby was a tragedy. Life was created and yet it died before it had a chance to live. Life does not segregate. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor or middle class, it does not care if your white, black, brown or yellow. Life simply sucks sometimes, that's the only way to describe it. We can mourn our losses and we can fight that which we cannot control but we can also live. Life is a gamble. We don't know when we'll die, all we can do is live and be grateful for the love we have and continue going as if there were some kind of point to all of this even if there is no real point at all._


	3. Deleted Scene

_Author's Note: I could not decide whether or not this scene should have happened before 'The Morning After' chapter or if I should have it as a deleted scene. I tried it both ways and decided to have it as a deleted scene. Having it at the beginning seemed to take away from the story as a whole, it felt like it was stopping progress. _

_I've been taught that it's better to show instead of tell but in this case I thought it was better for Amy to tell Ricky what was going on because it gave it a sense of intimacy that I felt was needed._

"Amy you have to please," Ben begged. "Adrian's asking, please."

She looked to Ricky with tears in her eyes and then walked to the door. Amy stopped and took a deep breath, with her hand on the door. She pushed it opened. The room was pitched black except for the light shinning over Adrian's bed. Adrian laid there, tears in her eyes, rolled up in a fetal position. Amy wanted to run, to go out the way she came but she couldn't. Ben had begged her and as she turned the door was no longer there. Her mind was clouded, Amy knew, her tears were making it a problem to see. She turned back towards Adrian and whipped her tears, knowing at any moment fresh ones would start up again.

As she got closer to the bed, the image had changed.

'What's going on' Amy thought to herself.

She placed her hands on the foot of the bed and saw that it was no longer Adrian but a very pregnant Amy with Ricky by her side.

'This isn't right,' Amy thought silently. 'Ricky isn't supposed to be in here.'

She looked at the image before her. Ricky was smiling at Amy and she was smiling back. The Amy at the foot of the bed knew that the pregnant her would be giving birth any time now.

'You can wake up now,' Amy said out loud and pinching herself. Nothing.

The rest of the moments past in a haze and then Amy heard the doctor say, 'Okay Amy, one final push, there we go.'

The moment past in another haze but something wasn't right. The baby wasn't crying. John was supposed to cry, why wasn't he crying? Bed Amy and Ricky standing were gone from view.

'John, John?' Amy called out. 'John it's mommy. Damn it, where are you?'

A section of gray opened up at the far side of the room. A doctor and a nurse were standing over one of those hospital nursery cribs. Amy found herself walking towards it.

'What do we tell the mother,' the untrained nurse asked.

'The truth,' replied the doctor.

Amy leaned down and saw her son but it wasn't really her son. This baby was small and his skin was a pale blue.

'The boy didn't survive,' the doctor said.

The nurse looked over to the other part of the room where bedridden Amy was laying. 'What a shame,' she said. 'But they were teenagers. They weren't ready for a baby.'

Amy looked at the nurse and wanted to slap her but before she could the room turned dark and all she could do was stand there alone and cry.


End file.
